How to Write Your Own Letters of Recommendation
Occasionally you will get a recommender who asks you to write the letter yourself and hand it over for them to sign. This can be severely nerve-wracking. It can be very hard to write your own praises and make it sound like someone else is doing it. Plus, you're afraid that, if a school knew you wrote your own letter, they'd drop you immediately (probably not true). Either way, this can be a very touchy process.
- What should I write? Definitely brainstorm first. Make a list of everything you've done for your recommender and things you've done that they know about in detail. Even if you simply did a little work that got them, one of their students, even yourself out of a bind - write it down. A good story is great to have. It will show very concretely that not only are you a problem-solver, you're a memorable problem-solver.
- But what topics to I focus on? Generally letters of recommendation include information about how long the person has known you and in what capacity, how much they like you (seriously!), what your research interests are, what kind of a student you are, how you've improved if there's something on your app (GPA, GRE) that's not too great, maybe a story about something great you did, what kind of thinker you are, how dependable and intelligent you are, and a little bit about your personality. Then, end with something about how highly they recommend you.
- Can't I just read my other letters and copy them? Oh goodness, no. You're not supposed to read your letters. Many people do, anyway, but you're really not supposed to. And if for some reason you get a chance to, definitely do not copy other letters like a template. You don't want your letters to look like they were written by the same people - even if a couple of them were written by you.
- How do I make them look different? If you are unfortunate enough to write more than one of your letters, you'll have to get creative and pretend you're two different people when writing them. Deliberately try to write in a style that is not your own. Give the letter to numerous people for edits, and be a lot more liberal in using their wording instead of stubbornly sticking to your own.
- How much do I talk myself up? Answer: As much as humanly possible. This is not the time for humility. If your recommender thinks you're being too grandiose, they will edit it down to an appropriate level. Be sure to be passionate as you were in your personal statement - you don't want to make it sound like your advisor (or whoever) was bored and unstimulated by you. You want it to sound like they thought you were the best person they ever worked with. Always keep in mind, though - your recommender may not edit your letter, so be sure your final draft is something you'd actually want schools to read, word for word.
- Should I have others edit it? Definitely. Other people, especially those you've worked with in the recommender's lab, or those who know your accomplishments well, will be able to give you some ideas on other things you should be mentioning, as well as making the letter sound a little less like your own writing. Other people are generally less humble about you than you are about yourself, unless you are a narcissist, in which case you should have no trouble.
